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17 December 2012 @ 09:32 pm
A clarification of my previous post about Kroger and carts  
Now that I've reread my own post several times, I realize it's ambiguous. Here's the actual order of events:

* Cashier standing at end of open lane invites me to her lane. I accept.

* Cashier offers to unload my cart. I say, "oh, no, thanks."

* Cashier walks behind checkstand; I start to unload cart; cashier starts to ring me up. As far as I can tell, I'm keeping up with the cashier.

* Suddenly, a bagger is between me and the cart, saying, "Here, miss, let me help you unload." [Tangent: "Miss"? Really? I haven't been called "Miss" in decades and I've come to prefer "Ma'am".]

* I am very startled, and automatically apologize for being too slow.

* Bagger says, "Oh, no, not at all," but I'm already upset and shaking.

* I spill my wallet all over the checkstand, and babble more apologies as the cashier helps me clean up the mess I've just made.

* Bagger offers to take my cart to the car and load it for me, and I decline MUCH more fervently. I don't recall my exact words, but I think they were along the lines of, "Oh no no, please no!"

* I come home and post, while crying and swearing I'm never going to a human cashier again if I can possibly avoid it.

So, in retrospect, I think it was probably more like 75% my fault and only about 25% Corporate Policies I Still Don't Like.
Johnjohnpalmer on December 19th, 2012 04:35 pm (UTC)
I don't know. I see a huge piece missing here:

Bagger does something that upsets Janet. Bagger refuses to take any notice of this, and continues the action without regard for how Janet is reacting. (NB: I'm not saying that the bagger is a bad person - merely calling out a part of the story I consider important).

You're not the only person who can be upset by someone jumping in to their personal space, metaphorically shoving them aside and performing a task they are used to doing themselves, and might prefer to do themselves ("ah, now all of my frozen foods are in one section, so they can be bagged together...").

I'm not saying the bagger is an awful person or acting maliciously - I'm saying that this changes the dynamic greatly. People aren't just responsible for their intentions, or their instructions - they're responsible for how they affect others. A huggy person doesn't get to hug you just because they like hugs, or even because "most people appreciate hugs" and if they approach you to hug you, and fail to notice your response is guarded or negative, they are 100% in the wrong (though probably not a horrible person - there's a huge difference between being completely wrong, and being a horrible person).