Janet Miles, CAP-OM (janetmiles) wrote,
Janet Miles, CAP-OM

Oddball question

Suppose, for the sake of this question, that you were famous for something. So famous, in fact, that you were invited to tour around the country (or around the world, if you wish) to present whatever it is you're famous for.

What sorts of things would your contract request or require for your green room / dressing room? This can range from the obvious ("working plumbing, two large towels, two small towels, and one washcloth per person in the team") to the silly ("provide seven copies of a daily newspaper suitable for folding into paper boats") to the outrageous ("all windows in buildings overlooking the parking lot must be blacked out starting one day before the concert").

Some sample Green Room Riders are here, if you want some inspiration. I'll put mine in a comment. I changed my mind, and am putting mine here, behind the cut, so I can keep editing it.

For the purposes of argument, we'll assume I'm touring with Dale, a personal assistant, and a secretary.

Introductory statement: We will treat all members of the venue staff with courtesy and consideration, and expect the same in return. However, we will reserve the right to require replacement of any staff member who sufficiently annoys us. ["right to replace staff member" snagged from ysabetwordsmith]

Venue will assign a single point-of-contact liaison and provide that person's name, email address, and mobile phone number to my PA and my secretary. Ideally, venue should also assign a gofer with a working knowledge of the area, a valid driver's license and insurance, a reasonably clean driving record, and a car in safe operating condition. The gopher may be asked to "go fer" supplies or other desired items, or to drive me, Dale, and/or my staff around. We will make all reasonable efforts to avoid disturbing the liaison or the gofer at unreasonable hours.

Technical: I'd have an expert draw these up.

Security: The venue will provide secured parking and appropriate additional security. Specifics will vary based on circumstances including but not limited to location of venue. All security arrangements must be approved by venue management, my agent, and my PA, and final approval is to be complete at least two weeks before the scheduled event. We will provide a list of local friends who are to be admitted without hassle. [the idea of including security arrangements snagged from drewkitty, the "local friends" snagged from tassie_gal]

Accuracy: If my name or the title of the event is misspelled anywhere (e.g., marquee, posters, ads), the venue will be required to contribute $500 per incident to a charity of my choice. [this item snagged from bldrnrpdx]

Backstage requirements: Dressing room / green room facilities will be clean and free of odors, have working plumbing (toilet, sink, shower), have sufficient clean (no odors) and lined trash cans, and be kept at a temperature between 66F and 73F. ["no lingering odors" and "internet access" snagged from fatcook; trash cans from Jimmy Buffet's sample contract]

There will be sufficient light to read comfortably, and enough power outlets for computers and electronics chargers.

There will be Internet access, preferably wifi.

There will be soap, two large towels, two hand towels, and a washcloth for each person. There will be comfortable chairs and/or couches.

There will be a stocked basic first-aid kit.

Backstage requests: There should be a desk with a comfortable desk chair.

Ideally, food should be provided in a separate but nearby catering area; if not, however, there should be a table and chairs, as well as a small refrigerator and a microwave.

In addition to the required first-aid kit, it would be helpful to have a cluster of OTC products including but not limited to Benadryl (or house brand of the same active ingredient), acetaminophen, ibuprofen, cough suppressant WITHOUT a decongestant, Gas-X, Mylanta, and throat spray.

Food and beverage requirements ("will") and requests ("should"):

Soda, milk, and juices are fine in individual serving bottles or cans, and cereals in individual packs, so that leftovers don't have to be thrown out. Leftovers may be distributed as the venue manager wishes; however, there is a preference for donating non-perishables to a food bank or shelter.

There will be a table, chairs, fridge, and microwave, as well as basic supplies including plates, bowls, cups, flatware, napkins, ice. Ideally, plates, bowls, and cups should be of a variety that will not melt in the microwave.

There will be diet cola, at least two six-packs per day (Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi preferred).

There will be diet decaf soda, at least one six-pack per day (Diet 7-Up or Sprite, Fresca, Diet Rite in any flavor, and any flavor diet decaf house brand are all acceptable). Tonic water and club soda are also good.

There will be water, either bottled or filtered in a pitcher or filtered through the refrigerator.

There should be milk, either 2% or whole.

There should be assorted juices, ideally including V8 and cranberry.

There will be sandwich fixings: sliced lunch meats, sliced cheeses, lettuce, tomatoes, condiments, bread. Bread and tomatoes will not be refrigerated.

There should be hot meals, as appropriate based on times of events:
  • breakfast -- Activia yogurt in any flavor, bagels, butter, cream cheese, peanut butter, jelly, bacon or sausage, cold cereal, hot cereal.
  • lunch -- green salad, pasta with meat, and a vegetable side.
  • supper -- If the area is known for a specific cuisine (e.g., BBQ in Memphis or Kansas City, Cajun in New Orleans, seafood on the coasts) or for a brilliant restaurant that's willing to do catering, three representative meals and one boring meal. Otherwise all meals can be boring.

For purposes of this rider, a boring meal is something like green salad followed by hamburgers or meatloaf, baked or fried chicken, baked or fried fish, meat lasagna, or pizza, plus a vegetable side and a starch side (which can be bread). Pizza should include one meat-only, one veggie-only, and one mixed, and does not require additional sides.

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