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10 September 2009 @ 10:28 am
Everyone does stupid things sometimes, don't they?  
None of these are new; they just all happened to float up to my forebrain this morning, and so I thought I'd share them.


Case 1
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Me: *dials phone at work, so it's the last digit of the exchange and a four-digit extension*

Stranger: Hello, this is (somebody I wasn't looking for).

Me: Hi, is person-I-was-looking-for there, please?

Stranger: There's no one here by that name.

Me: Did I dial 4-1234?

Stranger: No, this is 4-5678.

Me: Uh, you know, I think I just dialed her campus zip rather than her extension. Sorry 'bout that.



Case 2
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Me: *turns on computer running Windows NT*

Computer: NTLDR not found. *does not boot*

Me: Huh? *turns computer off, turns computer on*

Computer: NTLDR not found. *does not boot*

Me: What the hell does that mean? *asks coworkers if they know what the hell that means*

Coworkers: We dunno; ask Michael.

Michael: *is not in the office*

Me: *calls help desk*

Help Desk: Remember the old error message "Non-system disk in drive; please remove disk and restart"?

Me: Yes....

Help Desk: This means the same thing.

Me: I'm an idiot.

Help Desk: Don't worry about it; we like easy questions. I don't know whose bright idea it was to take a clear, non-threatening, explanatory error message and turn it into something obscure and terrifying.


Case 3
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Me, at Subway: I'd like a footlong meatloaf on Italian, please.

Subway worker: Ma'am, we don't have meatloaf.

Me: *pause, while I try to parse what he said and what I meant* Uh, meatball. I meant to say meatball. I'm sorry; I guess I was distracted or something.


Case 4
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This was not so much a case of stupid as "lacking vocabulary in local Spanish", but it's still kind of amusing. To me, anyway. I'll present it in English.

Me, to pharmacy clerk in Venezuela: My roommate isn't feeling well, I need to get her something for constipation. ("constipado" was the word in my dictionary.)

Clerk: In the head? (Apparently, in the local dialect, that word meant "congested".)

Me: No. Ah, the opposite of diarrhea.

Clerk: Vomiting?

Me: No, no. Ah, the opposite of diarrhea, she doesn't go at all.

Clerk: Ah! Constipated! (Which sounded like "estopado".)

Me: Yes! Thank you!
 
 
 
Wandrawandra on September 10th, 2009 09:03 pm (UTC)
My brother went to a pharmacy in Majorca to get me something for constipation, and lacking the right words, mimed a kind of squatting, with exaggerated downward arm waving. The clerk thought he meant imminent childbirth.

(I wasn't there, which was probably just as well as I'm quite fat and this might have added to the misunderstanding.)