And I am puzzled at myself, because, as far as I can determine, I don't feel that way, I don't treat men that way, and I guess I've been insanely lucky.
I am 46 years old. There has been exactly one time in my life that I feared I was in danger of being assaulted -- possibly for money, possibly rape -- and I handled that situation by pointing a loaded gun at the man I felt was threatening me. There was exactly one date when I felt that if I stayed, I might be forced into sex, and I handled that by saying so, and leaving, and never seeing him again. That was also the one and only time I ever went out on a date with a stranger. (Although, now that I think about it, the people I told did say, "Well, what did you expect, going back to his house to 'talk'?")
I have shared bed space with male friends and not had any qualms about doing so. I have gotten drunk (rarely) with male friends without any worries about what might happen. I walk alone on campus after dark and don't feel even slightly twitchy about it. I wander around science fiction conventions in moderately revealing clothing, and have never been hassled. And while I would never even consider hitch-hiking in the USA, when I was in high school and college I hitch-hiked around four different countries in South and Central America, and never felt endangered.
And yet, and yet. I know so very many women who have been assaulted or raped. I know it happens. But I still don't have that fear, that sense of guardedness. And I don't know why.