18 May 2009 @ 03:18 pm
Oh, dear  
I just heard myself thinking, "I'm old enough to be your mother, so I can say that." I didn't actually say what I was thinking before the "old enough," though. I was too taken aback by myself.

(Context was a 18-year-old posting pictures in modest_style; my first reaction was, "Oh, what a cute kid!")
Miche: mummy hellmicheinnz on May 18th, 2009 07:25 pm (UTC)
I find myself thinking things like "Aren't you cold? Go and put some clothes on!" and "Does your mother know you're out?"

I'd never _say_ them, though.
Maggiesillymagpie on May 18th, 2009 10:30 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I've had to restrain myself from asking small kids at my apartment complex where their parents are when it's late and they're so young... And I'm not even a woman who wants children!
Ayoub™ayoub on May 18th, 2009 07:36 pm (UTC)

I know the feeling... :D
une idee fixeideealisme on May 18th, 2009 07:56 pm (UTC)
kinda tangential but...
Just looking at that profile:

This is a non-denominational community which includes Jewish, Christian, Pagan, Muslim, Mormon and even atheist women.

I'm concerned that they seem to think modesty is something that applies solely to women. When someone says "modesty applies to women", they're saying something else IMO.

Apart from anything else, men letting it all hang out can be every bit as unlovely as when women do so.
Janet Miles, CAP-OMjanetmiles on May 18th, 2009 08:38 pm (UTC)
Re: kinda tangential but...
I agree with you. There have been some discussions about the philosophy of modesty (whether it's religious, personal, or some combination), whether it applies to men and if so to what degree (depends on where the standards some from -- many religions do have modesty standards for men, and many men choose to dress in a way that would be considered modest even without religious strictures), and whether modesty standards for women are inherently anti-feminist because they're still for the benefit of men (Not necessarily).

I think the community is aimed more toward women than men because it's more about the style than the modesty; that is, how to dress stylishly while meeting whatever standard of modesty you choose.
une idee fixeideealisme on May 18th, 2009 08:42 pm (UTC)
Re: kinda tangential but...
Yeah, I hear you re the style. It does trouble me when it's limited to one sex like that. Certainly makes me think of a word which starts with M and ends with Y, tho I'm not sure "modesty" is the one I have in mind...
starcat_jewelstarcat_jewel on May 18th, 2009 09:04 pm (UTC)
Cultural conditioning can be surprisingly strong. I've had to fight to keep from saying things to Blair that my mother would have said to me; after the first time or two, it gets easier. Kudos to you for not saying it.
fae dobhranladyotterfae on May 18th, 2009 09:10 pm (UTC)
you know, that community looked kind of interesting, until I saw the paranoid fits being thrown by someone about being watched by the islamic community in their town, asking if she should wear a cross or something, and if other people had had such "negative reactions", then wondering if she was safe going out alone anymore. *sigh*

Is that kind of nonsense standard? I've dressed more or less modestly my entire adult life, so I have managed to miss some of the 'controversy', oddly enough.
Cymru Llewescymrullewes on May 18th, 2009 09:30 pm (UTC)
I dress quite modestly but it never ever occurred to me to use that label. I like long pants. They cover my mosquito bite scars. I like long sleeves because I can push them up if I get warm but you can't pull short sleeves down if you're cold. In the words of a friend, I've got sweater meat so I like to wear them because I look good in sweaters. I don't like skirts because small people have been known to hide under skirts as well as behind them.
fae dobhranladyotterfae on May 18th, 2009 09:31 pm (UTC)
*grin* I don't have the small people hiding problem just yet, though occasionally have to pry a cat out from under the skirt, or stop them from using them as a toy.
Janet Miles, CAP-OMjanetmiles on May 19th, 2009 12:27 pm (UTC)
My perception is, no, that kind of nonsense is not standard. And, well, you'll find nutty people in any community.
Violet Tigress: corsetviolet_tigress1 on May 18th, 2009 10:29 pm (UTC)
I just heard myself thinking, "I'm old enough to be your mother, so I can say that."

I've had that thought a few times. It was scary
Maggiesillymagpie on May 18th, 2009 10:29 pm (UTC)
Yeah, same here. Scary, isn't it?

Do you find yourself starting to call people "hon"? The late Molly Ivins theorized that it was something women started to do over 40, since she suddenly found herself doing it. I personally don't use "hon," but I find myself very tempted to call people "kiddo" or "ducks."