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27 September 2010 @ 10:23 am
No particular reason; I just like the song  
WEAPONS AT THE DOOR
(c) 1974 W. J. Bethancourt III

Being a Polemic concerning the alleged Custom of the West Kingdom concerning checking your Weapons at the Door of the Revel Hall. As the Satire is the Weapon of the Bard, this said Polemic is to be checked at the Door, along with swords, knives, redheaded Ladies and other such Deadly Things.....

As I roved out to Western Lands to take the Western Air
I went into a Revel Hall and I saw a Twelfth Night there
but I was halted at the gate by a Privy Consellor
     (that's the man who tells the King of the West how to go to the ba-ath room!)
who told me I would have to check my Weapons at the door

As I, in my astonishment, stood hung on tenter-pegs
a Knight came in whose Prouess hung down between his legs
the Doorman grabbed a greatsword and he struck the Knight full sore
and gave him a reciept; he left his weapon at the door!

a Bard was next whose goodly Voice has entertained us all
but he, too, was prevented from entering the Hall
and told he could not carry deadly weapons on the floor
he left his Voice and Harp among the weapons at the door

a Master entered graciously, a man we all know well
who holds a 3rd Dan Black Belt, tho this he'd never tell
the Master struggled valiantly, the Master cursed and swore
but he left his hands, and feet, as weapons at the door

the company was jovial, altho a bit dismayed
for lack of proper cutlery, down to the smallest blade
for even teeth and fingernails, each can be used in War
were cut, and pulled, and left behind, as weapons at the door!

And has their King not loyal Knights that He must be afraid
of brawling in his Hall and of Assassin's bloody blade?
the Rights of Men to carry Arms at least WE'VE not foreswore
and a POX on them that made the Rule of Weapons at the Door!